The end of an era

Nine years ago this August I was a bright-eyed, idealistic, excited new teacher getting ready to start my first job. I had chosen to teach kids with disabilities and I wonder now if I really knew all that job would entail. Once I got in the classroom, I realized that it was something I actually had a knack for and I really liked it (despite the occasional breakdown due to difficult students, parents, or principals). I have been blessed to work with so many great teachers and therapists over the years. Whenever someone says they like something I'm doing in my classroom, I usually have to confess that I've "stolen" it from someone else.

Last school year I learned I was pregnant not long after the school year started. It seemed to have worked out perfectly. Campbell would be due in late April (or early May depending on which chart the doctor used) and I would take the remainder of the school year off through the summer and return to work in August. I remember talking to Winthrop University that December about getting a Spring intern since I wasn't due until the internship would be over and there wasn't any reason I would be leaving earlier. Little did I know that I wouldn't have made through an intern's first two weeks...

My school district was really supportive when I had to leave in January, first for bedrest and then for Campbell's birth. I used up my FMLA and they graciously granted me a leave of absence until the end of the school year. This enabled me to have the peace of mind that my job would be safe when I could return.

So, I stayed home with Campbell almost 7 months and although it was very tough, I loved it. I loved taking care of her and witnessing every little new trick and development. But, reality set in and I returned to work in August. We were so blessed that my mother (the famous "Nana") volunteered to keep Campbell for us. Her pediatrician basically forbade us from putting her in any sort of daycare during her first RSV/flu season so she was a Godsend for us. Campbell has flourished in her care and she has put up with my pickyness, germaphobicness, and general anxiety for the past 10 months. We are so grateful to her and have been so blessed.

Despite having Nana care for Campbell, I have really struggled with going back to work. Especially as Campbell has grown, developed, and become more "fun" it's been getting harder and harder to be gone from her so much. I love my students, I love the great people I get to work with, and I love feeling that I'm having an impact in my students' lives. I also love the income which allows me regular trips to Target and lots of freedom.

When it was time to sign my contract for the next school year, Robbie and I decided that I would not sign my contract and we would hope for a part time position to open up. With our current economy and school districts scaling back on jobs rather than creating new ones, we were taking a big leap of faith. After our visit to the MFM and discussing the risks of another pregnancy (read about it here), we knew this was a financial risk we needed to take.

As I've learned throughout Campbell's short life, God really does answer prayers and my special ed director offered me a new position she created. I'll be consulting with some of our programs to help them become more inclusive. So, today I packed up all my "gear" (it's amazing what one collects!) and walked out of my classroom for the last time.

I can't imagine not going back to the classroom one day, so I know I'll be back. I'll miss all of my "Special Friends" but I'm excited about spending more time with Campbell...even if it means I can't take as many frivolous Target trips anymore...